![]() To them we’re the boring ones who practice what they dismiss as ‘vanilla sex’ - that is, just plain regular sex. Least you think I’m being arrogantly heteronormative and judgmental, I should point out that the bondage brigade are the ones who look down on people like me. To which I say: screw all that jazz - give me a good old-fashioned, passionate, I-LOVE-YOU-BABY! shtup any day of the week. Bondage is sex for people who don’t like sex. I mean people for whom it’s the central component of their sexual and social identity. By bondage people I don’t mean people who do a bit of bondage as part of their sexual repertoire. Today they’re often the most boring people in the room. When I was a teenager, people who walked on the wild side seemed so fascinating. Did you ever hear the joke about the bondage practitioner who forgot her safe word? No? That’s because there are no bondage jokes. ![]() But bondage people - at least the ones I’ve met - are so serious! So earnest and humorless about their practices. But at least we can laugh at ourselves we’re happy to recognize the comedy - and the tragedy - of erotic life. Granted, we boring old heterosexuals have our faults and our limitations. Believe me, there’s no bore like a bondage bore. At first I thought: I’ve hit the jackpot! Brains-Beauty-Bondage - here she is: wife number three!Īnd then she treated me to a long monologue on the joys of bondage the intricacies of knot-tying, bondage etiquette, arcane bondage practices from roughly the Middle Ages to the present (or so it seemed), plus her own bondage biography. Recently, at a London dinner party, I found myself sitting next to a beautiful young woman with a PhD in physics and a passion for bondage.
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